Friday, December 31, 2004

"BugAhaBuc is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."

Posted by Hello
The Avatar I use on All Message Boards.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004


Today I finished up my required intubatin attempts.
I got my first three on my birthday last week. It's a lot different than the practice dummies, I'll tell you. Things flop around much more on a real person.
Yesterday I was studying with a classmate. He had just returned from the OR whre he got all five of his attempts in one day. (unusual) He had a time reserved this morning and since he had gotten all of his, he gave me his open slot.
I got there at 06:30 and got them right away. Very nice.
It's good to get the required ones done with in a controlled setting, where I have all the time in the world and not when pressed in the field on a dying patient.
Now everything I get in the filed will be cream.
It's so nice to have a break from class time so that I can actually have time to hit the books before my ACLS test the day we get back.

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Foster Care Is Hard On The Heart

Foster care is hard on the heart.
Man, this little girl we have is absolutely beautiful.
Thick, curly, black hair. Great dimples. She's a peaceful baby too.
My kids absolutely love her and so does Mrs Bug and I.

The Birth Mom (BM) gets supervised visits 4 x a week. Three hours at a time. We dread that time. My kids get really upset when the visitation service comes for the baby.

The BM is one class piece of work. I kind of feel sorry for her in a way, but we all make our own choices, you know? The visitation service people say that she is just an angry, angry woman. Not friendly to them at all.
The woman doesn't seem to be well educated at all. You can tell by the content and tone of her writting in the communication log we pass back and forth. She has had other children by a different father taken from her already.

Although we don't want the BM to ruin her life further (you really want her to come around) we just pray that if she does decide to go back to her own ways that she does so before she gets the baby back. Her 1st court date isn't for a while, but for some reason the BM thinks she's going to be getting the baby back sooner. This is our first time doing this so I hope it's not that we don't understand the process and that the BM is just delusional.

The prospect of losing her is already painful. We went and fell in love with this child. Oh, man that sucks! We can't imagine her going back with her BM, but that's the ultimate goal of foster care, you know?

Funny, we really wanted to adopt another boy, but then we get this beautiful girl and want to keep her.

God has a sense of humor doesn't He?

Sunday, December 12, 2004

What Lies Beneath?

How well do we really know some one else?
I may know my best friends favorite base ball team are the Toledo Mudhens or his favorite ice cream flavor is black liquorice, but do I really know him?

This week I was punched in the chest. Emotionally speaking.

I have a good buddy, a man that I had worked with, ministered with and enjoyed being around. A charismatic and energetic youth minister. Exceptionally brilliant. Wonderful debator, knows classical Greek and some Hebrew. Gifted musician, singer, husband and father of four. This guy is popular wherever he goes. I can honestly say at times I was quite envious of what seemed to be a buffet of talents, abilities and giftings handed to him freely from an overflowing silver platter by God. Not to mention the double chocolate cake wit and side of ice cream athletic ability on the side for good measure.

All that and everything I had ever experienced with him and knew about him was honesty and integrity .

All that was smashed like a feces coverd brick thrown through a beautiful stained glass window.

This Monday, the buddy of mine was arrested for inappropriate relations with one of his 17 year old female parishners.

I had been all over the world with this man. I had his family in my home. I've been in his home. We've shared hopes, dreams, disappointments together. I can say without regret of sounding cliche' that we'd suffered blood, sweat and tears for the good of man and to the glory of God.

All those who knew him and knew him well, shared the same punch in the chest that I experienced last week. How do things like that happen? What overcomes reason and pushes a man to tie a mill stone around EVERYTHING he knows as true and toss it overboard?
Is it an incrimental journey that he doesn't realize he's taking until he's a thousand miles away from home? Is it a sudden dark epiphany that causes a man to just say, "Screw it! I'm doing it anyway!"

The man has lost his job. Lost his reputation. More than likely lost his wife and family and probably be incarcerated for a while. For what?

There is an old saying. "But, by the grace of God, there go I." I never thought this man was beyond reproach, but I regarded him quite highly.
I'm disappointed, yes, but cannot judge him. When we start to think of ourselves too highly and think things like this will never happen to me, then we are setting ourselves up for quite a fall.

"But, by the grace of God, there go I"