Friday, December 31, 2004

"BugAhaBuc is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."

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The Avatar I use on All Message Boards.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004


Today I finished up my required intubatin attempts.
I got my first three on my birthday last week. It's a lot different than the practice dummies, I'll tell you. Things flop around much more on a real person.
Yesterday I was studying with a classmate. He had just returned from the OR whre he got all five of his attempts in one day. (unusual) He had a time reserved this morning and since he had gotten all of his, he gave me his open slot.
I got there at 06:30 and got them right away. Very nice.
It's good to get the required ones done with in a controlled setting, where I have all the time in the world and not when pressed in the field on a dying patient.
Now everything I get in the filed will be cream.
It's so nice to have a break from class time so that I can actually have time to hit the books before my ACLS test the day we get back.

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Foster Care Is Hard On The Heart

Foster care is hard on the heart.
Man, this little girl we have is absolutely beautiful.
Thick, curly, black hair. Great dimples. She's a peaceful baby too.
My kids absolutely love her and so does Mrs Bug and I.

The Birth Mom (BM) gets supervised visits 4 x a week. Three hours at a time. We dread that time. My kids get really upset when the visitation service comes for the baby.

The BM is one class piece of work. I kind of feel sorry for her in a way, but we all make our own choices, you know? The visitation service people say that she is just an angry, angry woman. Not friendly to them at all.
The woman doesn't seem to be well educated at all. You can tell by the content and tone of her writting in the communication log we pass back and forth. She has had other children by a different father taken from her already.

Although we don't want the BM to ruin her life further (you really want her to come around) we just pray that if she does decide to go back to her own ways that she does so before she gets the baby back. Her 1st court date isn't for a while, but for some reason the BM thinks she's going to be getting the baby back sooner. This is our first time doing this so I hope it's not that we don't understand the process and that the BM is just delusional.

The prospect of losing her is already painful. We went and fell in love with this child. Oh, man that sucks! We can't imagine her going back with her BM, but that's the ultimate goal of foster care, you know?

Funny, we really wanted to adopt another boy, but then we get this beautiful girl and want to keep her.

God has a sense of humor doesn't He?

Sunday, December 12, 2004

What Lies Beneath?

How well do we really know some one else?
I may know my best friends favorite base ball team are the Toledo Mudhens or his favorite ice cream flavor is black liquorice, but do I really know him?

This week I was punched in the chest. Emotionally speaking.

I have a good buddy, a man that I had worked with, ministered with and enjoyed being around. A charismatic and energetic youth minister. Exceptionally brilliant. Wonderful debator, knows classical Greek and some Hebrew. Gifted musician, singer, husband and father of four. This guy is popular wherever he goes. I can honestly say at times I was quite envious of what seemed to be a buffet of talents, abilities and giftings handed to him freely from an overflowing silver platter by God. Not to mention the double chocolate cake wit and side of ice cream athletic ability on the side for good measure.

All that and everything I had ever experienced with him and knew about him was honesty and integrity .

All that was smashed like a feces coverd brick thrown through a beautiful stained glass window.

This Monday, the buddy of mine was arrested for inappropriate relations with one of his 17 year old female parishners.

I had been all over the world with this man. I had his family in my home. I've been in his home. We've shared hopes, dreams, disappointments together. I can say without regret of sounding cliche' that we'd suffered blood, sweat and tears for the good of man and to the glory of God.

All those who knew him and knew him well, shared the same punch in the chest that I experienced last week. How do things like that happen? What overcomes reason and pushes a man to tie a mill stone around EVERYTHING he knows as true and toss it overboard?
Is it an incrimental journey that he doesn't realize he's taking until he's a thousand miles away from home? Is it a sudden dark epiphany that causes a man to just say, "Screw it! I'm doing it anyway!"

The man has lost his job. Lost his reputation. More than likely lost his wife and family and probably be incarcerated for a while. For what?

There is an old saying. "But, by the grace of God, there go I." I never thought this man was beyond reproach, but I regarded him quite highly.
I'm disappointed, yes, but cannot judge him. When we start to think of ourselves too highly and think things like this will never happen to me, then we are setting ourselves up for quite a fall.

"But, by the grace of God, there go I"

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Adoption Is An Option

I'm pro life, but it always pissed me off every time I see one of those bumper stickers or drive by a Planned Parenthood when people are holding signs that say "Adoption Is An Option"

I wonder, how many of you self absorbed holier than thou hypocrites would actually take one of those babies and raise them as your own?

Easier said than done.
I've never been one for easy, so...

The past month (Mrs Bug) and I have been waiting to see if we could adopt a baby who's 16 year old mother was raped.

As is protocol, we had written letters to the mother, made a family srcap book so she could see what kind of family the baby boy would be going to. (He's due December 16th)

We have been praying daily for the mother and that the decision would be the one best for the baby.

Friday we found that we were one of three families she was finally considering. Wow, what a tense weekend.

Yesterday we found out that we ended up the number two choice.
It's hard not to take it as rejection, because we believe in providence (no, not Rhode Island) I can't tell you how heart broken we were. I was dreading the deciison and was devistated to find that we were not chosen and there it happened.

Although, it hurts, I believe the baby is going to the best family.

Well, TODAY we were asked to take a one month old baby who has been put into long term foster care. Meth Addict Mom.
This one is a girl, were were hoping for a boy just because of living space and our existing three children.
We said yes because we just love children and couldn't even think of rejecting a child.

We pick up the baby in two hours. Mrs Bug is at the store buying formula and diapers for the baby with our neighbor, Mrs Bug's Neighbor.

We haven't told family or friends about any of the last few days and tonight we are having Thanks Giving with my family an hour after we pick the baby up.

"Hey. look what we found out in the street"

The baby has been with a temporary foster family for the last month. Has never been with the Mother except for supervised visits. So that should tell you that she's already on the State's short list.
The birth mom has been a big problem already with the baby.
She has three other children that have already been taken from her.

The baby is in a Fos-Adopt program. She's adoptable, but reunification is always the intent, so we have to go through this whole process, maybe even years and then the baby may go back to her birthmom.

Am I ready for the roller coaster?
Dunno, I hope so.
So, thought I'd share what's going on in the Bug Nest.

Blessings everyone.

Happy Thanks Giving.

Monday, November 15, 2004


Holy crow. Whole day of testing. (Respiratory) Usually we have our written test in the morning, then lecture the rest of the afternoon. Thrusday and Friday we are broken down into four sections to make it quicker and easier by having smaller groups. AM and PM both days. I have Thursday PM. Usually I have my practical testing stations Thursday afternoon. Today we had it all day long. Well, I passed with a 97% average for all my tests.
Man, I was nervous too. I guess when I get too cocky I do poorly.
Tomorrow starts the cardiac block. I love cardiac!!

My brother started a new job at "Cheeseburger-Cheeseburger". It's a national franchise that just opened up here in Omaha. Tonight is family night. He gets to invite three people. My mother and my buddy Scott and I are going as family. Scott is actually related way, way in the past some how. We figured it out once by accident. Funny, eh?
Well, we get free stuff tonight to Eat and Drink, so tonight call me Mary.

OK, time to study cardiac before my oldest daughter gets home from school. I need to go mix a SPARK packet and drink it down. I'm kind of tired.

Oh, yeah. Although I am having a cheeseburger tonight on a special occasion, I've been doing that oatmeal breakfast thing to get my cholesterol down. Quick Oats. Three minutes to a heart healthy breakfast!

Saturday, November 13, 2004


Saw this.
Thought it was interesting.
Alcohol and Calorie content for most beers.
Just in case some lush decides to read my blog.

Friday, November 12, 2004


Right after the fall of Bahgdad my mother spent some time working with a relief agency group in Iraq.

At the time the Iraqis were very grateful and saying how much they loved America and George Bush and were very grateful that they were liberated from Saddam.

Well, after over a year of what we have seen in the media about how much the Iraqi people want us out I thought I'd share an e-mail from an Iraqi woman to my mom and her team members whow were with her in Iraq.

"Dear Friends,
I want to congratulate you on the re-elction of President George Bush. I know that you prayed a lot for this. We are also happy for this. President Bush freed us from dictatorship and tyranny. We hope that he and the US Amininstration will keep helping us to establish freedom and defeat the terrorists. Our wish is to keep good relations with the Amarican people to make the world more peaceful and prosperous. I hope that everything is ok with you all.

Please keep in touch.
God bless you.

I don't know about any of you who read this, but this touched me.
Regardless of what our lying media says, our men and women are doing a noble job. I'm proud of them and know that they are appreciated overseas despite what the spineless Euros are saying.

My mother also says that she recieved emails from other Iraqi's she knows from her time there regarding the beheadings and they said that every Iraqi knows the kidnappers are foreigners and not them, but apologized anyway on behalf of "true Muslims".

Malak, the woman who's letter I posted, told my mother that everyone she knows doesn't blame America for the prisoner abuse stuff either, that American soldiers have been good to them and that the prison was a bunch of bad apples.

That, my friends, is awesome. Almost brought a tear to my eyes.
Just thought I'd share something about Iraq that I know is true.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004


Holy Crow! Just got back from the Doctors and got a shocker!
My triglycerides are 236. Cholesterol is 203. HDL (good cholesterol) is 31.
Because of being a full time student with no income, I had to cut out my gym membership for budget reasons. I know I don't eat as much and I've gained a little weight, but I still have some muscle under my fat.
Makes me start to take the BMI (Body Mass Index) scale a little more seriously. Based upon the BMI with my weight, I should be 6 ft 8. I'm only 5 ft 9.
Gotta start doing something about it now. Sigh.
Isn't there a magic pill or something. Maybe I need to do what the commercials say and eat more oatmeal or cheerios or something instead of the fruity pebbles.
As long as I don't have to stop drinking coffee. At least I take my coffee black.

Saturday, November 06, 2004


Well, my huskers are absolutely getting their butts kicked and I can't bear to hear any more of it.
I can't believe they performing so pathetically on both sides of the ball.
This is truely one of the most depressing games I've ever listened to on the radio. Grrr....
OK. Now, as I check on the USATODAY score board, Nebraska has just scored two touch downs.
They are one touch down behind with five mintes left in the game.
Now I really can't listen to the Radio. I might jinx them. ;)

Mean while, in the bat cave.

I was at OFDS 40 last night. 16:00-22:00. Only two runs on a Friday night in the hood. Boring runs too. One of my paramedic instructors was the station captain. I like him. These guys wouldn't let me study.
Made me watch The Punisher with them. I didn't know they allowed the hazing of students. That was one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life.

Today I made hot wings. Made way too much sauce. I dont' think I'm going to save it this time. Like a dummy I put it all on the wings.

OK, I'm going to go up and eat some cereal before church. Saturday Night service rocks.

Thursday, November 04, 2004


It's been a while since I last made an entry. I have been burried in Respiratory Pharmacology. Need to be ready to do a Rapid Sequence Intubation, you know.

Yesterday I was at Omaha Fire Department Station 42. 07:00 to 22:00.
Long day and only 4 runs, two of which the patient signed AMA so we didn't go to the hospital with them.
It's been almost two years since I'd been on a Rescue and I was rather rusty. Some assessment things I missed, but when there are 4 people in a squad and an Engine responds too, you have 12 firemen at the scene asking questions. It's hard to remember where to proceede from there, you know. I'm not thinking I'm going to have a very good review. -sigh-
I have to deliver it to my advisor in a sealed envelope. Makes me nervous.
I got a lot of studying done during all the down time, though.
A ton of election talk in the fire house.
They had the television on in the kitchen/dining room, where I was relegated when we were'nt responding.
We are supposed to avoid speaking politics while at the station, but it was hard being the morning after the election. I tried my best to have as innocuous responses as possible.
Traditionally, Fire Fighters are very Democrat. The Unions always support the Democrating candidate, but most of the house were VERY vocal Republicans.

If you have never been to a Fire House, don't go if you are easily offended.
Reminded me very much of Fraternity life. Very crass and strange sense of humors fire fighters have.

Friday I'm at station 40, but only from 16:00 to 22:00.
I know one of the captains there(Paramedic Instructor at Creighton), he's on an engine, but I'm sure he'll ride my brown butt any chance he gets.
Love the guy. Gruff, brash and loud, but he knows his stuff. I'm actually looking forward to getting harrassed by him.

December my wife is basically going to be a single mom. I am in the Hospital ER or with OFD every day I'm not in class.

Well, sounds like the kids are killing each other upstairs, so I'd better go get them out of "Room Time"

Until next time.

Monday, October 25, 2004


I studies all weekend long. The most effort I've put into a test and all I have to show for it is an 86%. What the heck is THAT???
Shows that you can over-study. Reviewing the test today I found that I made dumb, dumb mistakes.
Did I mention that our next door neighbor seemed to have his alarm clock amplified out his window this morning? 03:30 this morning the alarm goes of and continues on uninterrupted until 06:30. It was too stuffy in the house to close our windows so I laid there trying to get back to sleep for three hours. That didn't help my make sound choices on the test. Ok, wah, wah, wah...Let's all listen to Bug snivel.
I have the practical exam this Thursday. I'm pretty sound in that area. At this time we aren't being graded on field diagnosis just being evaluated on following protocols. Not too dificult there.
I and my main study partner are the only ones who volunteered to perform health screenings for the Student Health Clinics this Wednesday.
It's good to brown nose. :D He (Eric) is a good Bush backer too.
Ok, time to give the kids a bath. Mom is at a PTA meeting and I've been down here neglecting the chil'ns updating my very popular BugBlog.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Heart Burn Sucks

I hate heart burn.
It sucks big time. I have it constantly. I was doing the Prilosec thing, but for some reason they stopped making it because of some insurance issue regading Nexium and reimbursments and Prilosec being so similar...
OK, Insurance companies suck worse than heart burn.
I'm scarfing down Tums/Rolaids and Alkaselzer like there's no tomorrow. Gotta watch it though. Don't want to throw of my ph balance of my blood. That would really suck.
It used to be about every 4-6 weeks I'd get this excrusiating pain in the stomach that would last about 24-48 hours. NOTHING I did would make it go away, then as fast as it started, it'd go away. I'm certain that it's a gallbladder thing. I had it looked at, but they say no. I even get that refered pain directly dorsal to my stomach/gallbladder area that's indicative of a gallbladder flare up. Now that I have insurance again, I'm going to get back on Prilosec until I can get my gallbladder worked on.
Thing is, I'm pretty ...oh so pretty...I'm so pretty and...[clears voice] I'm pretty noncompliant. I drink caffine and refuse to give up spicy food so I put this on myslefe sometimes...But even when I eat or drink the most benign foods, I have stomach issues. (pity party-pity party)
All that to say... I'm going to Champs tonight to eat hot wings and watch football with a buddy from out of town.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

I Have Crabs.

I think I failed to mention a big part of my life.
I have Crabs.
Six to be exact. We got three Hermit Crabs last December then my wife got me three for Valentines day. Wow, my wife gave me crabs on Valentines day. That just sounds gross.
Their names are: Yellow Guy, Sam, Gary, Ophelia, Mortermer and Little Guy. They really are a trip. Fun to watch. Did you know that crabs chirp and squeek and make odd noises? It's kind of funny. Normally they bury themselves and then sing away. A couple of days ago I think I surprised Gary when he was coming out of his CoCoNutHut. He made this high pitched squeel like I've never heard before and retreated back into his home. Funny.
I put half of a Wheat Thin in the tank yesterday and my crabs went wild. There were three of them chewing on it with two three more waiting their turns for a while then pushed them selves in... The two bigger crabs started a tug of war over the piece. I mean literally backward and forward...It was a trip to watch!! I finally broke two others in half so all six of them could have thier own piece. They munched and munched all evening. It was wild hearing so much munching go on. It's not like I don't feed them. I give them the amino enriched dried flies, the crabby pellets, carrots and grapes each week, but I've NEVER seen them go so crazy over anything

Monday, October 18, 2004

Maybe I'm a Jerk

Maybe I'm a jerk, but I'm hiding here in the basement from my wife's guests. She has a friend visiting from out of town with her two daughters.
I just don't like her. (The friend, that is) She's so very "small" town. I can't get into that kind of mind set. The jerk comes from the aspect that I'm prejudice myself. The gal is literally 300 lbs over weight. Heck, I'm over weight. I need to lose about 20 lbs, but over 300???
She cheated on her first husband and is surprised that her second husband (The one she cheated on the first husband with) left her for another woman. anyone surprised when stuff like this happens. These people have been here all morning and just won't go away. The chick jokes, "Tee, hee...we moved in and took over...tee hee."
Grrrr! Not to mention she drives a PT cruiser. I already have negative attitude about people who drive those Lemming Mobiles anyway. This is all just snowballing my bad attitude I have about her. Sigh...

I need to go some where and watch MNF tonight. My struggling Buccaneers are playing the hated Rams tonight. Boo, Rams!
That will make me happy. Football, 2-3 Guinness and some hot wings.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

How Did I Miss It?

How the heck did I miss the final presidential debate???
I was so excited for it and I totally forgot to watch it.
I am so ashamed. Not that it would change who I'm going to vote for.
Maybe now that the final debate is over we can stop hearing about these so called, "undecided" voters. With the marked differences between these two candidates how can anyone be undecided?
Anyone who claims to be undecided is either absolutely lying because they are afraid of what kind of confrontation they may encounter or just trying to get attention.
I need to get this movie

Nebraska plays Baylor today. I think I've recovered from the trouncing we took against Texas Tech. I'm confident my Huskers will bounce back.
We need to be patient with coach Callahan. I'm certain that good things come to those who wait. I'm looking forward to Callahan lifting up that Waterford Crystal Football many times!

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Should Be

Ok, I really should be studying. My oldest is in school, my wife and other two kids are sleeping, but instead I'm playing with my new Blog toy.
I'm waiting for an epiphany to hit me so I can fill my Blog with endless profundities. Alas, nothing. My brain remains stagnant. :D

First Attempt

Well, this is my first attempt at doing the "Blog" thing.
They say it's the hip thing to do...I think I'm feeling increasingly hipper with each key stroke.
Most blogs have thier themes, and I'm not certain which direction this one will take but I'm sure I'll find my nitch.